Kermit

I like to think that, despite the uniqueness of family size and schooling style, my adolescence was much the same as any other girl's.  I had my share of the-world-just-doesn't-understand-me angst, and daring wardrobe choices.  (I was particularly fond of stirrup pants and baseball caps.)  I also had crushes.  These were many and various, and seldom attached to boys in my own circle of acquaintance.  Such quaint, immature specimens were hardly worth my heart.  No, I had bigger fish to fry.

First, there was Robin Hood.  Not Errol Flynn, and not Kevin Costner (or, heaven help us all, Russell Crowe).  No, we're talking the foxy gent from the animated Disney version.  I mean, he had panache!  He had swash-buckle!  And what lady can resist a bushy orange tale.  Tell me I'm wrong.

plus, there's the HAT.

 

Next, there was Prince Derek.  The leading man from Swan Princess, Derek blew every Disney prince up to that date completely out of the water!  (He would have lost his crown to Flynn Rider, I'll admit, but Flynn was about two decades behind and safely out of competition range.)  Derek was sweet and funny.  He had enough personality to screw up and try to fix it.  His haircut.... okay, well, never mind his haircut.

huh.  maybe I have a thing for archers...

Then came an assortment of literary figures, including Ivanhoe, Aragorn, Professor Bhaer, Edmund Pevensie, the Beast (from Robin McKinley's Beauty), Hazel (from Richard Adam's Watership Down), Mr. Travilla (Elsie Dinsmore -- if you don't know, please don't ask me to explain), Remus Lupin, and Lord Peter Wimsey.

See?  Derek should watch out.

But ultimately none of them could touch my undying devotion to one man.  Well, almost man.  He had a mellow, soulful voice, a wry sense of humor, gentle kindness, keen sarcasm, and he was always calm and resigned in the face of total insanity.  You could say I empathized.  If we could ever meet, I was sure, we would understand eachother.  He would take me for long boat rides, and even just being his friend would be nearly enough.

Except that, of course, I would much prefer he dump Miss Piggy.  For his own sake, of course.

I mean, who doesn't love Rainbow Connection??

And no, I am not kidding.

Someday, maybe I'll tell you about my one actual human crush.

but first..............who were your perfectly-normal crushes?